Jokes on Lawyer......

• "I have good news and bad news," a defence attorney told his client.

"First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene.

"Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is down to 140."

• A man went to the Chamber of Commerce in a small town. Obviously distressed, he asked the man at the counter, 'Is there a criminal attorney in town?'

The man replied, 'Yes, but we can't prove it yet.'

• "You are a cheat!" shouted the attorney to his opponent.

"And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition.

Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, "Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let's get on with

• There was the cartoon showing two farmers fighting over the ownership of a cow. One was pulling the cow by the tail; the other was pulling on the horns. Underneath was a lawyer milking the cow.
  

• Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. "900 hundreds rupees for three questions," the lawyer stated. "Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?" "Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question

• Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?

You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.

• What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.

• A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?"

The housewife replies: "Four!".

The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time.

"The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"